May 16, 2005

Zzz

Okay, I'm way too tired to post anything today. I'd explain it all, but it'd be even more tiring. So, in lieu of a post, I'll post a short list and then turn this one over to the comments.

Attackers I'd Least Like to Face
A 50 foot tall version of my mom, who wants to lick a gigantic napkin and wipe my face with it
A crazed gorilla who bursts into my apartment and starts throwing tuna helper all over the place
A demented rastafarian who insists I wear one of those yarn hats, no matter how hot it gets
A lifeguard who throws sand on me and then makes me rub sunscreen over it
A drunk and belligerent Billy Joel, who loudly insists I'm Christie Brinkley and that we should reconcile right this minute
A superior marksman with a cannon that alternates shots of coleslaw and potato salad

Posted by Cody at May 16, 2005 7:10 PM
Comments

I forgot to add one: Cannibal Abraham Lincoln

Posted by: Cody at May 16, 2005 7:10 PM

allow me to contribute robot abraham lincoln

Posted by: xyz at May 16, 2005 7:15 PM

i thought of another one. someone who juggles jellyfish

Posted by: xyz at May 16, 2005 7:28 PM

An escaped quality control robot from the INTRUDER production factory

Posted by: DFJ at May 16, 2005 10:21 PM

A geologist.

Posted by: Frito at May 16, 2005 10:46 PM

On the topic of Billy Joel, I read something halarious about him on McSweeney's the other day.

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/4/27black.html

Posted by: dude at May 17, 2005 12:45 AM

A 4 ft tall girl who'll...

Posted by: Cody at May 17, 2005 8:51 AM

....while fueled by cocaine.

Posted by: Pdiddy at May 17, 2005 11:41 AM

She'll meet you in the break room.

Posted by: Danza at May 17, 2005 11:45 AM

Bam! Bam!

Posted by: Pdiddy at May 17, 2005 12:02 PM

Here comes your girlfriend.

Posted by: Cody at May 17, 2005 12:29 PM

The worst (and most emetic) oppugnant I have ever faced was a giant Venezuelan Beaver with a chainsaw for a tail. A mad scientist had replaced it with an industrial 8 foot Sharpex 64-HD chainsaw to aid in his increasing lumberjacking duties. It kicked like a mule and bit like a crocodile.

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