Okay, I'm way too tired to post anything today. I'd explain it all, but it'd be even more tiring. So, in lieu of a post, I'll post a short list and then turn this one over to the comments.
Attackers I'd Least Like to Face
A 50 foot tall version of my mom, who wants to lick a gigantic napkin and wipe my face with it
A crazed gorilla who bursts into my apartment and starts throwing tuna helper all over the place
A demented rastafarian who insists I wear one of those yarn hats, no matter how hot it gets
A lifeguard who throws sand on me and then makes me rub sunscreen over it
A drunk and belligerent Billy Joel, who loudly insists I'm Christie Brinkley and that we should reconcile right this minute
A superior marksman with a cannon that alternates shots of coleslaw and potato salad
I forgot to add one: Cannibal Abraham Lincoln
Posted by: Cody at May 16, 2005 7:10 PMallow me to contribute robot abraham lincoln
Posted by: xyz at May 16, 2005 7:15 PMi thought of another one. someone who juggles jellyfish
Posted by: xyz at May 16, 2005 7:28 PMAn escaped quality control robot from the INTRUDER production factory
Posted by: DFJ at May 16, 2005 10:21 PMA geologist.
Posted by: Frito at May 16, 2005 10:46 PMOn the topic of Billy Joel, I read something halarious about him on McSweeney's the other day.
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/4/27black.html
Posted by: dude at May 17, 2005 12:45 AMA 4 ft tall girl who'll...
Posted by: Cody at May 17, 2005 8:51 AM....while fueled by cocaine.
Posted by: Pdiddy at May 17, 2005 11:41 AMShe'll meet you in the break room.
Posted by: Danza at May 17, 2005 11:45 AMBam! Bam!
Posted by: Pdiddy at May 17, 2005 12:02 PMHere comes your girlfriend.
Posted by: Cody at May 17, 2005 12:29 PMThe worst (and most emetic) oppugnant I have ever faced was a giant Venezuelan Beaver with a chainsaw for a tail. A mad scientist had replaced it with an industrial 8 foot Sharpex 64-HD chainsaw to aid in his increasing lumberjacking duties. It kicked like a mule and bit like a crocodile.
Posted by: Willly Brand at May 17, 2005 5:50 PMMortgage Quotes |
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