On Coupling

Okay, I feel like I need to summarize my trip to Lubbock a little bit. I visited to witness the wedding of my cousin Jessica. Even though Jessica is almost 4 years younger than I, it's always been apparent that she is way, way more mature. I never felt I had to get defensive about it, though, until I saw her walking down the aisle on Saturday. I expected the heads of the entire family to swivel in my direction, and then nod sadly all at once. It was all I could do not to shout out, "I pay my own car insurance now!" or "My cat is current with all her immunizations!" It was a nice wedding, and the groom picked up quite a catch, although I would definitely be concerned about his new wife's gene pool.

Actually, I had a very valid reason for not asserting/embarrassing myself at the wedding over the weekend. In the very, very near future, I will be sharing a place with a real, live woman. She may not speak English, but I think I'm handy enough with my imperative verbs in Korean to communicate with her. I kid, I kid; I only wish she didn't speak English.

In about a week and a half, Laura and I are joining up to assault the common decency of North Austin. The perks for me evident: I get to live with a fragrant and vivacious lady who's way less squalor-tolerant than I am. What does she get in return? Well, I'm not sure; I can only assume she's a big X Box fan. In any event, it is an intimidating step towards adulthood. In the past, I managed to annoy the crap out of women while we resided in separate residences, so sharing the same is bound to result in a gruesome murder suicide.

And maybe I shouldn't be sharing this observation here, but I've discovered a truly disturbing mathematical pattern in the number of people who live in my house. In 2003, it was just me. In 2004, occupancy doubled when I got Octopussy. In 2005, we're doubling again with Laura and her dog. If that number grows to 8 in 2006, it better be because someone chopped up a star fish and threw it into the garage. Look forward to much, much more freaking out in the next week and a half.