Last night, Laura made me watch "Queer as Folk" with her. I knew she meant business about that show right after we moved in together. The day our service was transferred over to the new place, she flipped through the channels with the slightest look of consternation on her face. "Where's Showtime?" she asked. "I only got HBO," I replied. "I need Showtime so I can watch Queer as Folk," she said. "Well, you may have to miss an episode or two until we get that sorted out." And then, suddenly, she grabbed me from behind and pressed a butter knife against my jugular. She whispered crazily, "I get Queer as Folk, or I make you bleed. The choice is yours."
Anyway, I watched it last night and I have to say it fulfilled my expectations. That is to say, I certainly don't feel like I got gypped out of any homosexual elements. They promise it right there in the title and they definitely deliver. In fact, they deliver so thoroughly, it'll take me a while to recover. After an hour of that, I sat on my couch until 3 AM, alternately shouting "Heavens to Betsy!" and "I can't believe that was the guy from Talk Soup!" When I finally went to bed, I proceeded to have a very disturbing dream where the governor of Texas, Rick Perry, had moved Nathan Lane in the governor's mansion and refused to comment on the situation.
For my strong reaction, I do not blame the writers or cast of the show, but myself. As someone who found "Sex and the City" almost unimaginably uncomfortable to watch, I had no business in upping the ante with a spirited dose of homosexuality. The next time I want to expand my horizons, I'll do it slowly, with an Elton John CD and a cup of chamomille tea. I will not install a hidden camera in Harvey Firestein's bedroom and force myself to watch its recordings in slow motion, which is where last night was headed.
Gays and lesbians, don't get me wrong here. I will continue to support your push for equality in the eyes of the law and our society, as long as it requires very little effort on my part. I must draw the line somewhere, though, and that line for me is watching the former host of Talk Soup get buggered for several minutes. I forgive your forays on show time, and you forgive Nascar. That's really all I ask.
Posted by Cody at July 11, 2005 11:02 PM