If you've been paying attention to the comments lately, you'd know that I'm making a trip to Shreveport this weekend, the gambling mecca of Texas and Louisiana. Some may consider this a bad idea, as my previous gambling trips this year didn't work out so well. This time, it's different. This time, I have a system. I call my system BLACKJACK.
B is for bladder, which I intend to stretch. No matter how many free drinks I'm served by the casino, I will not vacate my seat at the table to use the potty. This way, I make the most of my winning streaks.
L is for lozenges, which will overflow from my pockets. Casinos are chilly, and I'm going to take plenty of precautions against catching a cold.
A is for applesauce, the only suitable food for gambling. Also, if I bring enough, perhaps I can trade a cup for a pull on a nickel slot.
C is for Cody. That's my first name, and it's how I'll introduce myself to the dealers. "Hello, I'm Cody and I'm about to induce the worst day of your professional career."
K is for kleptomania, which I will use to cushion the wallet if I start losing heavily.
J is for jungle mentality, which I will adopt for the entire length of my stay. I'm the lion, they're the gazelles, and it's dinner time. What's for dessert? That's right, the applesauce.
A is for aardvark, the type of animal I'll be purchasing with my winnings.
C is for chalkboard. I will carry one of these around the casino with me, with two big columns, ME and CASINO, to track my progress, along with a series of Garfield characters I'll use to represent the specifics of each hand.
K is for kabbalah, the mystical Jewish art under which I will pick my numbers at the roulette table.
It's that simple: BLACKJACK!
Posted by Cody at July 27, 2005 7:01 PM