The Powell Principle

If you ever find yourself playing blackjack at 7 AM, you should know that's either a very good or very bad thing. This past weekend in Shreveport, I found myself in that boat and, somewhat surprisingly, it wasn't because I was trying to win my last pair of socks back from the casino. No sir, I bathed in triumph the entire weekend. If you happen to hit up the Hollywood casino sometime over the next few weeks and all they're serving in their restaurant is fish sticks and ketchup packets, you'll know they've been torched by the Powell Principle. The Powell Principle states that I lose 4 out of every 5 times I gamble, but on the fifth time, I ride that pony til it collapses.

So, I got very lucky over this weekend, but it had an interesting effect on me: it didn't make gambling any more alluring for me. In the movies, someone has a big night and suddenly, they're hooked; the next thing you see, they're pulling the gold from their fillings for one last spin of the roulette table. For me, it's had the opposite effect. I was there for a long, long time, consuming a lot of free drinks, throwing my money around like a Hilton twin. I'm no gamblingologist, but I realize that's not the formula for repeatable jackpots.

It was luck, an obscene amount. I was so lucky, I should've given up on the gambling thing and gone out prospecting for platinum. And because I was so lucky, I'm almost scared to enter a casino ever again, just because I know a grand piano will crash onto my head immediately afterwards. Either that, or I'll encounter a ravenous polar bear in the men's room. I'd like to say that's me being hysterical, but it's the Powell Principle, a proven scientific notion. I don't just buy polar bear insurance on larks, people.