World Beater

Memo to Wimbledon: no need to start engraving my name on any trophies.

At lunch today, I went and played some tennis with a friend from work. He played at a Division I school in college, so I was looking forward to a spirited encounter. It was spirited, but I don't know if it was an encounter. An encounter typically has two parties; I was so drubbed so thoroughly, I'm not sure if I counted. We definitely had encounters at the water dispenser, where I pull more than my weight. Also, we had an encounter on the way there, where I was fiddling with the air conditioner and talking about shampoo. But out on the court? Not so much, no. The man could've placed a bowl of mashed potatoes on my side of the court and entered into as many rallies as he got from me.

Ten years ago, I would've been very discouraged by that. No matter how absurd they were, I had these delusions where I could turn pro in anything. While I didn't admit it out loud, I prepared myself for the possibility that I'd be the world's first professional baseball/tennis/indy car racer. How would I balance that with my duties as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court? Why, I'd just have to excel at time management as well! One of the good things about getting older is that these bizarre, unrealistic fantasies slowly fall by the way side. The even better part is that they fall away silently, subsumed by goals that someone besides Buckaroo Banzai could accomplish.

Okay, I'll never be the best tennis player in the state. There are, however, many things I could be the best in the state at. One example: posting to this website. By my last count, I have roughly 500 more posts here than anyone else in the state. Heck, we could expand that to the everyone who's ever lived and I'm STILL numero uno. That's a nice notch on the belt to have. What else is there? Well, I've never met anyone who could beat me at Virtua Tennis for PS2 OR who could make better sweet tea. Someone who could beat me at both? Forget about it; only an army of mad scientists could produce a force so potent. I get older and I get better, but not always in the ways I expect. It's good to keep these things in mind.