Thursday. Thursday. Thurrrrrrsday. Thursday entries are difficult because I've got to put this baby to bed for the weekend. I've got to tuck it in, rub its belly, and see that it's got enough Fruit Roll-Ups so it won't starve to death before Sunday. Luckily, I'm largely considered an expert in all three of those activities, especially belly rubbing. If there's a guy you want to be with in a hostage situation, it's me. I'd just wait for the kidnappers to look away for a second, then I'd sidle up next to that belly and go to town. Whose fingers will he be cutting off to send to the police? Hint: not ours.
Here's a little quibble I've been saving for a while now. It frustrates me when I go into a restaurant and the waiter asks me if I've been there before. If I haven't, I tell them no and they proceed to inform me about the most basic tenets of restaurant operation. "Here, you folks have to choose your food off of a menu. They're made out of paper and you're not supposed to eat them. Once you pick your food, you tell me and I give that order to the cooks in the back. Unlike a few other joints in town that shall go nameless, our food is cooked with heat. Once that's done, I bring the food out, you eat it USING YOUR SILVERWARE. When you're done, I'll badger you about dessert and then demand money. Sound easy enough?"
In my mind, the only place that has the right to ask me that question is Medieval Times. You see, it's both dinner and tournament, so there's a great potential for confusion. Also, you eat with your hands. A place like that is gray space galore, so it's only fitting to demand answers. But Bennigan's? Come on, man. Zip it and cart out some jalapeno poppers. Unless there's a gimmick, leave me out of these conversations. And then, when I start using the curtains to wipe my mouth and I'm running around the place in a big diaper, you'll have only yourself to blame.
Posted by Cody at August 11, 2005 8:28 PM