I am full of surprises, like a leprechaun, imp, or magical elf. An example of a surprise? Ohh, I don't know; how about buying tickets to that boffo musical, Chicago? Sadly, it is less boffo than I originally thought, since it's not just two straight hours about Harry Carey and the Super Bowl Shuffle. Anyway, I bought these tickets, one each for myself and my little lady. As it was a surprise, I didn't tell her. The show is tonight actually, and I still haven't told her. I started to, by giving away little hints, but then she guessed it outright. Out of spite, I told her she was wrong and she had to keep guessing. Here's how the conversation went.
C: There's a surprise later this week. We're going to see a certain form of entertainment, live.
L: Is it a musical?
C: It might be.
L: Is it Chicago? I saw it was in town this week.
C: No, you're completely wrong.
I had to think on my feet. I began to search the darkest spots of my brain for something really, really weird that could be considered a musical. After a minute or two, I came up with a great idea: erotic burlesque show. All of my hints from then on would center around the fact we were going to see an erotic burlesque show. I'm not exactly sure what an erotic burlesque show entails, but it sounds bizarre enough that it'd terrify her if she actually got it. No one guesses my surprise from two hints and gets away with it.
C: Okay, I'll give you the initials: E, B, S.
L: Electronic... beehive.... shower?
C: Close. I'll tell you some more: it's something you've always wanted to see.
(That went on for a while.)
C: I'll give you some extra letters. The E word contains an I and a T. The B word contains an S and an E.
L: Etymological Bayonets Show?
C: Here's another hint: nearly every big city has one of these.
(It went on, until somehow, she got the word burlesque.)
L: So it's an E-? Burlesque Show?
C: Correct.
L: Is the e word.... (whispered) erotic?
C: Oh yes. Yes, it is.
That was this Monday, and since then, I've told her nothing more. As a result, every time I enter a room, she eyes my warily, as if to say, "This guy is escorting me to an erotic burlesque show?" Now that the day of the show is upon us, I just don't have the heart to tell her what we're actually going to see. She's already steeled herself for the erotic burlesque; she's talked herself into seeing it, and even displaying a small amount of excitement about the show. How do I spring Chicago on her after that? Even if it does star one of the guys from the Dukes of Hazzard tv show, she's not going to be happy.
We're going to the show in just a few moments, and I am still developing my approach. Right now, it involves her going up to the box office to ask for tickets to the erotic burlesque show. Where it goes from there, I don't know. I can only hope that 1) there's not an actual erotic burlesque show going on in that theater, since we'd then be dragged into that and 2) that I am not punched in the face when she figures out what's going on. We will see. At this point, it surely doesn't need to be said, but I'll do it anyway: each day with me is a delight.
Posted by Cody at September 22, 2005 6:18 PM