Just because a store has a sign that prominently features a Mexican wrestler mask, it does not mean the store actually sells Mexican wrestler masks. I share all of this because there's a store in a strip mall near my house (183 and McNeil for folks in the 512) that boldly flaunts such a mask on its signage. In fact, the mask is so boldly flaunted, it obscures the name of the store. Whenever I drove by, I just thought that the entire store was devoted to Mexican wrestler masks and other awesome artifacts (shrunken heads, busts of John Wayne, etc.). I was sorely tempted at that point to send out an email to all family/friends/fellow Masons telling them that I'd found the store where all future gifts for me must be purchased. Luckily, I went to examine the store today at lunch before sending out that missive. Had I not, my home would be flooded with pan flute CDs and dumb ass wind chimes come December 25th.
This place is located very close to my favorite, super cheap Chinese place (Dynasty, if you're scoring at home). After lunch was done and my belly packed with sesame chicken, I walked across the parking lot. I stroleld to the front of the store with the Mexican wrestler mask and I peered inside. I saw... lots of bamboo. I stepped back and looked at the sign again to make sure I was in the right place. Once I verified that, I concluded that the excitement was getting to my brain. I was so jazzed about the store, my sensory system was overwhelmed and superimposing the image of bamboo on everything. It's called Bamboo Madness, I think, and it's very popular when waiting in line at the department store for Santa Claus.
I refused to take Bamboo Madness for an answer, though, so I opened the door and went inside. I was greeted by two middled aged Asian ladies.
"Can we help you?" one of the ladies said to me.
"Yes, actually. Where are your Mexican wrestler masks?" Midway through that sentence, I looked around the shop. It featured shelf after shelf of gifts aimed for other middle aged Asian ladies. There were silk lamp shades and bamboo coffee tables and fancy tea saucers, but curiously, no Mexican wrestler masks. I immediately recognized the earth-shattering idiocy of my question.
"Mexican WHAT?" one said, leaning forward with wide eyes.
"Wrestl... No, I mean, I'm here to ... check for weasels. Everything looks good here. If you see any, call the landlord or just smack 'em with a hammer." And then I hauled ass out of there.
When I hit the parking lot, I checked the sign again, and it's definitely a mask of some kind on it. It may not exactly be a Mexican wrestler mask; I need to take some vidcaps off Telemundo for comparison purposes. It's close enough to make that mistake, though.
Moral of the story: it may be a little unreasonable to assume that the store next to the Asian Grocery specializes in Mexican wrestler masks. Tread with caution before making the same mistake. However, if you happen to have an Asian grandmother, I know a great place to shop.
Posted by Cody at October 18, 2005 6:33 PM