Ohh Lawdy, what a day of work! I could go on and on about this, but I'd rather talk about a banner that I saw at Best Buy over the weekend. I made the trip there on Saturday as I usually do, for the express purpose of sniffing the leather office chairs. Unlike most visits, I wasn't even near the office furniture selection when I got blown away. No, it was right by the door. There, I saw a large banner that read, "Welcome Vanessa and the Make A Wish Foundation!"
I can think of two possibilities, both of which are incredibly depressing. First, the Make A Wish Foundation could've gone downhill very quickly. A few years ago, they were taking kids to batting practice with the Yankees, and now they're taking them down to the mini-mall to watch the big TV's for a little while. If that's the case, they should rename it from the Make A Wish Foundation to the Kill An Hour Or Two Foundation.
The second possibility, and this one is even worse than the first, is that the foundation is still doing really well, but that poor girl just filled out the application wrong. Imagine she's filling it out, and really, there are only two questions. The first is, "How did you find out about our foundation?" And the second is, "Where does your dream take place?" The kid's probably on medication or something, and maybe a little woozy at times. When dad comes home with this neat flyer from his trip to the mall, you couple that excitement with the meds and you get a little mix-up. How did you find out about our foundation? Britney Spears' house. Where does your dream take place? Best Buy. Ahhhh, that's so close! They may as well give her one of the TVs for that one.
Posted by Cody at October 3, 2005 6:12 PM"Questions linger after woman's death"
This is a headline in the Fort Worth Star Telegram today. I was intrigued and so I read on. The portion of the article that landed on the front page is about ten lines long, and it went on to discuss the last days of a middle-aged woman's life last year about this time. It was spent traveling the DFW area, going from hospital to hospital and having an unstable mind. Well, this little tiny article turned into a full page timeline of sorts deeper into the paper. It kept referencing the JPS hospital staff, FWPD, and MedStar. I'm further intrigued. Up until now, the paragraph headings have been as follows: "Seeking Help", "First appeal to JPS", and "5 Hospitals in 2 days." Well, the next paragraph heading is where it starts to get real interesting: "A trip to jail." This paragraph explains her last public display of craziness, which occurred outside a retail store at 6:30am on a Saturday. Now my mind takes this bit of information and starts to scan over stories that I have been told in the past. For some reason, this seems like something I have heard before. I continue. The next lines in the paper send me into a frenzy: "MedStar employees found Ball inside, next to a broken glass door. She said she was pregnant and needed clothing for the baby God gave her."
You know, when you're on Katie's balcony and drinking heavily with DFJ and he is telling you about his first call ever at MedStar and it involves some crazy ass lady out in front of Kohl's trying to get clothes for the baby God gave her, you sometimes wonder which part is truth and which part is booze. Doubts: get the F outta here.
Posted by: Pdiddy at October 3, 2005 8:18 PMDoes this mean the thing he said about stripper fuel is also right?
Posted by: Cody at October 3, 2005 9:06 PMI'd say wait for the article, but when he makes a statement with such passion, why even question it?
Posted by: Pdiddy at October 3, 2005 10:09 PMShopping spree, dude. The girl's dream was a shopping spree.
Posted by: Brendan at October 4, 2005 10:27 AMThat... makes more sense.
Posted by: Cody at October 4, 2005 12:47 PMLeaving aside the question of how much sense a shopping spree actually makes in this situation, let me just say the middle paragraph made me laugh out loud. Nicely done.
Posted by: Jason Looney at October 17, 2005 2:40 PM