Trick or Treating with Rik Smits

First, let's get some procedural business out of the way: Sunday entries are now an iffy affair. If Sunday rolls around and I haven't updated but you want to read something with that ol' Powell flair, I encourage you to check out the archives. After all, there are only like 550 other entries on this site. I don't have time to get my oil changed or my hair cut or to fix myself a meal that doesn't consist of rotten gravy and pencil lead, but by God, I have time to write 550 entries for the confused old Korean women who make up my web constituency.

Now then, Halloween is approaching. To me, this means three things. First, I need a crapload of pennies to give to the trick or treaters. Yeah, candy is good and all, but are these kids going to learn about inflation and fiscal responsibility from a little box of Whoppers? (And if so, why aren't these Whoppers running the Federal Reserve?) Second, someone needs to lend me a little kid or maybe just a little panda that looks like a kid so I can go trick or treating. It doesn't have to look like me or anything. Also, I'd prefer a kid smaller than me; I apologize to any young people in Austin with pituitary gland disorders, but I'm going to have a hard time taking the best candy for myself if the kid looks like the Shaquille O'Neal (or even Rik Smits).

Third, I need to get on the ball when it comes to a good name for the Halloween/Star Wars party in Waco on Saturday. I can usually be counted on to name things excellently, but I'm just not seeing a winner here. Return of the Jedi-o-latern? The Empire Strikes For Candy? An Evening with Luke Spooktacularwalker? I just don't know here. If anyone has a good idea, please let me know.