Let's Get Physical

I signed up for a gym membership a few months ago. When I did so, I also got some sessions with a personal trainer. I didn't get very many sessions because I was worried it wouldn't work out too well. Well, that turned out to be a good move. Here's how the first session went.

Me: Hi, are you my trainer?

Him: This is a joke, right?

Me: What do you mean? I paid the money, let's get trained.

Him: Are you serious?

Me: I am. I don't understand what you're saying here.

Him: Hang on. It's a strange request, I know it is. But really, would you flex for me? Actually, it'd be better if you took your shirt off and THEN flexed for me.

Me: ... No, I don't think so.

Him: I ask because I really think you should be the one training me. Look at you, you're a specimen. You could crush Paul Bunyan's head with those biceps.

Me: Is this a practical joke?

Him: The only joke here is you refusing to train me! Come on, where, in your expert opinion, should I start? Let's blast my quads.

Me: I don't think I know how to work any of these machines...

But he didn't care. He continues to make me train him, while I pay for my sessions. Talk about a raw deal!

Ha ha ha, as you may've guessed, that's not how it went at all. Instead, the sessions are full of me struggling not to cry/wet myself/have an embollism in front of a room full of strangers. I'll tell you, if the guy weren't big and crazy, and if I hadn't already given him a bunch of money, I'd call the police on him. Unless it's an S/M situation, one person shouldn't treat another in such a fashion.

Anyway, tonight is our last session. I'm both happy and sad about this. I'm happy for the obvious reasons; while the sessions have been a success and I think he's done a good job with me, I will only let a grown man abuse in me public no more than six times. I'm sad because it means the next time a group of muscleheaded jugheads hears me shriek like a little girl, it's probably because I'm being assaulted in prison. Oh well. It's a give and take, I'm happy to do both.

Posted by Cody at December 6, 2005 6:39 PM