Pizza Partaaay

(This was written last night before the pizza party, while I couldn't get on the internet.)

Okay, so Laura's already left town for Christmas while I have to stick around town for a couple more days. That means that I'm stuck with providing food for myself. Whenever that situation occurs, I'm not one to mess around with an oven or a loaf of bread or anything; I just order a bunch of pizza and then ration it accordingly. Much like wearing sweat pants, it's easy, it's enjoyable, and anything else would require effort. Well, lured by a seductive coupon, I got suckered into buying a little too much pizza last night. By my calculations, I had to eat one medium pizza a day to finish it off by the time I left town. Now that's a lot, but it's not like reciting pi to 100,000 digits; I'm pretty sure that if I focus, I can accomplish this goal. And then, I screwed myself over.

It's a little after lunch this afternoon, and I'm walking down the hall, mildly bloated from my grotesque pizza portions. I see a coworker and he says, "Hey, you going to the Sales Division Party tonight?" I'm not in the Sales Division, but I do enjoy a soiree, so I say, "Heck yes! Where's it at?" He tells me, "Cool, it's at 5:30 at Mangia Pizza." I take maybe three steps and suddenly realize that, Heyyyyy, I shouldn't be going to a pizza party when I have 42 hogheads worth of that crap in my refrigerator! Just as I'm about to turn around and ask him if it's kosher for me to bring pizza from home to the pizza party, he announces to the rest of the hallway, "We're going to have LOTS of leftovers and I know Cody's good for some!"

As of this moment, my options are to either go hungry at the party so I can go home and eat cold pizza OR eat at the party and then come home and fling the cold pizza at the neighbor's dog. Or I could just pretend to eat at the party and stick the pizza into my pockets. Sadly, I haven't gotten around to sewing the grease-lining into my pants yet.

(Denouement: not only did I not bring my home pizza to the pizza partay, but I ended up bringing more pizza home. Today's magic pizza number to clean out the fridge: 1.7. Ugh.)

Posted by Cody at December 21, 2005 8:21 AM