Sweet Providence

Ha ha HAAA, the weekend was a success. I managed to bundle a trip to San Antonio, an office Christmas party, and a ludicrous fantasy football loss all into the span of 48 hours. Just imagine if I changed my focus from fanciful affairs like the ones above to something like eradicating gingivitis. I'd probably kill gingivitis so quickly, Listerine would introduce a potent new strain that makes your eyeballs bleed just to stay in business. So, perhaps I should leave that problem alone for right now, until I have enough resources to tackle Listerine head on. Yeah, so that's that.

The work partay was a lot of fun. It was at a fancy schmancy hotel downtown, and it was catered w/ free drinks and lots of casino games. Did I gamble? Of course I did; I just had to verify that I could lose fake money as quickly as I can lose real money. As always, the only sure bet at the table was that I had no idea what I was doing. I have to think that eventually, some humanitarian organization will step in and implement the Powell rule, where I'm the only player in the world allowed to bet against myself. Thankfully, by the time I had run out of my play money, the food had all been eaten, thus I was spared the shame of trying to bet dinner rolls and pieces of roast beef.

Speaking of Christmas parties and roast beef, as soon as I saw the spread at our shindig, I couldn't help but think back to one of my alltime favorite movies, Trading Places. Even though I wasn't dressed in a Santa suit, I had the overwhelming desire to pocket some of the meat, get on a bus, and chow down, a la Dan Akroyd. If you were to ask me any scene from a movie that could play out in front of me in real life, that scene would be one of them. And there it was, right in front of my face. I even checked my pockets to see how much space I had to work with. At that point, I discovered that the pockets on the jacket were still sewn shut. When common sense abandons me, I turn the outcome of a situation over to divine providence. No matter how much I enjoyed that particular scene, it takes a little more than that for me to put a bunch of roast beef down my pants.