I'm not much of a world traveler. In fact, I've only left my house one time, and that was to attend a lock-in at the roller skating rink about seventeen years ago. A large part of this is because no one invites me anywhere. I smell, I steal ashtrays, and I get belligerent if anyone brings up Law and Order. Laura's family didn't get the news apparently, which is why I'm headed to...
Columbia, South Carolina!
If you can't find me between now and Christmas Eve, it's because I'm in Columbia, South Carolina! I've never been to the state before, and it's a well known fact that South Carolinans get after the newbies like hogs on a rumproast. Really, these people could kill me while I'm there. That's why I have to talk the talk, and walk the walk, South Carolina-style. If anyone asks me who my favorite athlete is while I'm there, I'll say the Fridge, who played at Clemson. If anyone asks me what I want to watch on TV, I'll say Entertainment Tonight featuring Leeza Gibbons, who grew up in a nearby suburb of Columbia. You see how I'm going to do this?
I will look like a South Carolinan, eat like a South Carolinan, talk like a South Carolinan, and dance like a South Carolinan. It will be, in effect, the perfect ruse. I'll probably be Lieutenant Governor by the time I leave. And then when I'm safely on the plane and I know they can no longer hurt me, I'll place a collect call from the $800/hr Sky Phone. No matter who answers, I'll say the same thing: "Hi, this is Cody Powell and I hate Leeze Gibbons. Please tell your neighbors."
Posted by Cody at December 21, 2005 10:47 PMA few bits of trivia I picked up last time I was in Columbia:
1. It is home to Hootie and the Blowfish.
2. It has a minor league hockey team called The Inferno.
3. It is kinda ugly.
Posted by: Danza at December 22, 2005 10:43 AMAs a North Carolinian, I must insist that you refer to South Carolinians as South CarolinIans rather than South Carolinans. Small point, yes, perhaps even a nit-pick. Oh well. And never say "The Carolinas". They are 2 completely different places and should not be lumped together.
Oh, and don't mention my name in Columbia. It wouldn't be wise.
Posted by: Bets at December 22, 2005 5:01 PMHome of Hootie?! South Carolina is pretty much full of magical Carolinians. And I'd like to compare North vs. South Carolina, but I spent a grand total of 10 minutes in NC and almost all of that was in the airport bathroom. Still, the handsoap was top notch.
Posted by: Cody at December 22, 2005 10:09 PMI meant to say CarolinIan.
Posted by: Cody at December 22, 2005 10:10 PMIn response to your question on 29 Sept, The weather in Grevenmacher was superb at that time, we are however ankle deep in snow at the moment. Thanks for asking.
Chris
Posted by: chris at December 29, 2005 8:48 AM