For those of you who are new to the Goulash phenomenon (and I use that word lightly), I formerly held some large social events at my apartment every time I finished a set of 100 posts. I called these Centennial parties, and they were awesome. Not awesome in the sense that you realize halfway into the thing that you've having a really good time, but awesome in the sense that you wake up nude the next morning in the middle of a forest, next to a severed moose head, only to realize that you're both alive and not incarcerated. Anywho, I haven't had one in almost a year. I stopped doing this because I moved in with a girl, and she didn't want a bunch of drunk people peeing on and then stealing her stuff. I don't understand her concerns, but I respect them.
Since I stopped having these, I find myself talking to the police and hiding from the fire department a lot less, yet I cannot deny that part of my soul is dead. There's some part of my life that just needs to be peed on and then stolen by a bunch of drunk people, I suppose. Couple this realization with the fact that I hit post numero 600 last night. Am I going to cry about it this weekend, sad that I can't have my little party? Heck no, I'm not, because the spirit of Centennial lives on!
Enter DFJ. I know that a few months back, he devised a sensitive, highly complex algorithm that modelled my posting habits. He plugged it into his supercomputer and let it chug for weeks. He could've been trying to predict earthquakes or corner the pork-bellies market, but he had bigger fish to fry. Eventually, he came up with the weekend that he knew would be the closest to my 600th post. Then, still being super sneaky, he decided to organize a big party in his front yard on that day. He didn't call it a Centennial and the list of activities will be entirely un-Centennial-like, but I know what he's doing. To the entire Goulash nation, he's saying, "I understand what happened to the Centennial. It hurts me on the inside to see it go, but I can understand. However, if we're not going to pee on and steal Cody's stuff every 100 posts, we should steal someone's. I would like to volunteer myself and my family as that someone." Who am I to refuse?
The party has a different name, it won't be at my house, and I'm not the one shelling out the dough. It already sounds like a vast improvement to a Centennial party.
Posted by Cody at March 7, 2006 6:50 PM