SXSW v. Bachelor Week

SXSW is this week. As Austin's resident handsome, yet irascible bon vivant, will I be attending? That's a negatory, good buddy. I avoid the hoopla for a few reasons. First, it's expensive. If you really got into it, you can definitely get your money's worth. I can't see myself doing that, though. Maybe I'd hit up the first day super hard, only to wear myself out and spend the rest of the week transcribing episodes of Mama's Family. Second, it gets a little crowded. If I want to go see a band, I don't want to do it on a night on which every music fanatic in the country is in town; I might accidentally say I don't like Captain Beefheart and get beaten to death with an original vinyl pressing of Trout Mask Replica.

In conclusion, I won't be there; that's not a big deal since I've never paid for a wristband in the past. I may hit up some of the free events, but I'm going to be devoting most of my time this week to some bachelor living. Laura is out of town for the week so I am going to revert to my previous state and slob it up for a while. Knock on my door at 10 PM tonight and I'll answer it in my underwear, holding a box of pizza in my right hand and a cap gun in the other. A pot belly pig may run out while the door is open. Ask me where it came from, and I'll just shrug and throw a cold bowl of macaroni at you.

Now that I think about it, this may be better than SXSW. SXSW costs money, while Bachelor Week will only affect my dignity and my standard of living. SXSW will be taking place like 12 miles from my house, while Bachelor Week will surround me with its sights, sounds, and smells (mostly smells) everywhere I go.