Well, it's really, really hot in Austin right now. So hot, in fact, that we're overwhelming the electric company with our air conditioner. The result? They're doing some rolling blackouts, or so I've read. If there's ever a time I've kicked myself for not buying a coal-powered air conditioner, this is it. At the very least, I could've sprung for a few ladies with palm frocks to fan me and, when their fanning arms tired, feed me grapes.
You may think it's unlikely I could actually get women to do this, but it could happen. Just imagine this. You live in Afghanistan, your husband makes you eat mud for every meal, and your village wants to stone you to death for smiling behind closed doors. One day, you receive a flyer in the mail from America. You can't exactly understand the crayon writing, but you think some weird dude is offering you $4 a week, copious Funyuns, and a personal guarantee against death by stoning in exchange for serving as his ceiling fan. Would you take that? It's at least a push, you've got to give me that.
Now before anyone gets their cocoa stirred about that last paragraph, I should say that I'll take anyone for this job; gender and nationality do not matter. Canadian guy? The fan's that way. Lady from Cameroon? Just tell me approximately how many Funyuns per day you require. Half-man, half-octopus from the Kingdom of Atlantis? Go fetch me a sweater, I predict it gets breezy in here. (Accepting applications at cody at codypowell dot com.)
Posted by Cody at April 18, 2006 5:32 PM