WET SLOOP

At work today, the men's room exploded. After it had been repaired, someone put a sign on the door that said WET FLOOR. I walked by shortly thereafter and I started to think, "What's the best possible combo I could make there by only changing a letter or two?" I came up with a few good possibilities.

WET FLOUR. Someone was on the toilet, trying to make cookies, when they dropped their ingredients into the bowl. Result? Wet flour. Make sure you're wearing shoes.

WET SLOOP. Would that really be a problem for a sloop? I think that putting this sign up would be like a poor man's Magritte painting.

WET FLOPR. This one made me laugh out-loud, although I have no idea what a flopr is. It sounds awfully dirty though. If the bathroom had a sign that said WET FLOPR on it, I'd probably go use the bushes outside or something. It just doesn't sound sanitary.

WET FJORD. Who's been letting Scandinavians use our potties?

PET FLOUNDER. This one's a stretch.

WET POOP. Eww. Probably the most effective sign if you want a little bathroom privacy. Also, completely hilarious to think about someone exiting the bathroom, and then returning a minute later with a Wet Poop sign.

Man, you guys have no idea how lucky you are that this is free.

The weekend was a good one. I made my inaugural '06 tubing trip down the Comal River. "Tubing at the beginning of April? Lunacy!" Friends, I will show you the way. The water's too cool? Drink a beer. The sun's not warm enough? Shut up, or I'll throw a water moccasin at you. You're hungry and I refuse to leave the river? Eat one of those little bags of Cheese Nips that I brought and get your butt back in the water.

I am serious about the Cheese Nips; I heartily encourage everyone to bring Cheese Nips to your next river trip. They make for a nice little treat after hours on the river, when you start thinking about killing a raccoon just to get some non-liquid in your belly. Also, I imagine Cheese Nips make good river currency, should you find yourself stranded in the water for hours and hours. (Cheese Nips, pay me for this plug. Also, not everyone can bring Cheese Nips, lest we experience river currency inflation and suddenly find it takes boxes and boxes to buy a Natural Light.)

In conclusion, I am a big believer in the early spring trip. The crowds are sparse, the prices are cheap, and the only thing you have to fear is some sort of water monster that only attacks drunk people in April. As for me, I plan on going again on Saturday.

Posted by Cody at April 3, 2006 5:48 PM