Alright, I can't think of anything good to talk about here. How about a list of things that, as a child, I expected to accomplish by the age of 30, but seem unlikely now?
LIST OF THINGS THAT, AS A CHILD, I EXPECTED TO ACCOMPLISH BY THE AGE OF 30, BUT SEEM UNLIKELY NOW
by Cody Powell
1. Live on the moon. I still have total faith that I will one day live on the moon. Not only will I live there, but I will probably be King of the Moon. My plan for this is simple. When I first show up, I'll ask, "Who's in charge around here?" Some fellow or lady will answer, "I am." I'll grab a moon rock, throw it at their space helmet, and say, "Not anymore." Like I said, I expect all of this to still happen, just not by the age of 30.
2. Win a gold medal in the Dodecathlon (an event I'd create). This one is really in the IOC's hands. Maybe if they started responding to email proposals, I could start crossing some of this crap off.
3. Take a bullet for the President, not a fatal one or anything, more of a flesh wound. Maybe it was my choice of reading material, but I seem to remember reading a lot of books where the protagonist single-handedly foiled an assassination attempt on the commander-in-chief. In real life, does this ever happen? So, not only is the event I'm supposed to thwart exceedingly unlikely, but there's the fact that I'd be taking a bullet for George W. Bush. That's not going to happen, unless it's some sort of nerf gun.
4. Win the heavyweight boxing championship by pummeling a surly Russian into submission. First, the Russians aren't our enemies anymore, so this needs major reshaping; now I'd probably have to defeat a North Korean. However, not only am I nowhere near heavyweight status at 160 lbs, but I doubt many North Koreans are either. Those that are would certainly destroy me. But would any boxing organization sanction such a match?
5. Own a house with a moat. This is one that I've put some work into, and I'd actually stand a chance of succeeding if realtors started to advertise these things. When a moat-equipped place comes up for sale, I want an immediate email. Is that so hard to follow? The potential problem here is that, if you have a house with a moat, you're almost certainly rich and crazy, and the house itself must be large and expensive. Hopefully this person is so rich and crazy, they'd forget to ask for a check.
Posted by Cody at June 14, 2006 6:28 PM