Wooooo, Three Year Anniversary

Hey wet noodles, did you know that I am currently celebrating my three year anniversary with a feisty philly known as Austin, Texas? A mere 36 months ago, I was poor and unattractive, living in the slums of San Antonio. Now I'm still poor and unattractive, but I've moved 70 miles north and acquired an obese cat. That, my friends, is called personal growth. Extrapolating from that, three years from now, I'll be living in Waco, still poor and unattractive, but with a blind poodle or a diabetic raccoon; I'm very excited to contemplate the possibilities.

When I moved to Austin, I didn't just sit around, trolling the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist. No, like any rightminded individual, I got a respectable job and started an eponymous, bizarre website. Whatever happened to both of those? I still have the job, along with the window overlooking the dumpster that I received the first day. I consider it a minor victory that my office has yet to be transported out into said dumpster. Oh, they've certainly tried to move it; as long as I have my key to the backdoor, I'll keep moving it back in and covering the door in police tape, just as a warning. And as for the website, well, it's the little piece of magic that you, my confused Sri Lankan readership, are currently reading. It's yet to win me fame and fortune, but thanks to it, I receive more herbal viagra and penny stock email than anyone on the planet, which is a blessing on its own.

Three years, one city, one job, one site. What else? Zero pieces of bologna, which I don't care for. Many baby carrots. Probably the regular amount of asparagus, which I don't really go out of my way to eat but like okay. Thousands of adoring females. Dozens of vanquished foes. The same amount of shoes I had when I got here. Zero pieces of jewelry, which I also don't care for, and the same thing goes for cologne. Put into numerical form like that, I must admit it's been a pretty good run. Three more years, coming right up.