The Good Weaver or the Crappy One?

The end of the month is always a big deal at my office (note to agile nerds: it's the end of our monthly iteration), and I usually don't want to Goulash by the time I get home. Today is no exception, btu I'll give it a whirl anyway.

A brief scene about Major League Baseball. This scene takes place on Tuesday, August 29, 2006.

*ring ring*
Jason Schmidt: Hello?
Jered Weaver: Schmidty!
Schmidt: Tis I, Schmidty.
Weaver: Yo, it's Weaver.
Schmidt: The good Weaver or the crappy one?
Weaver: The good one. I was calling because I heard you were on Cody Powell's fantasy baseball team.
Schmidt: Well, I'm a star baseball player, so I'm probably on a million teams. Luckily for you, I memorize each one so I can say with authority that yes, I am on Cody Powell's fantasy baseball team.
Weaver: Me too. Listen, I'm supposed to start tonight. You're supposed to start tonight. What do you say we stick it to Powell by getting really boozed up before the game? Then we'll give up like 10 runs each and complain about our arms being tired.
Schmidt: Why would we do this?
Weaver: Lots of reasons. He has a dumb team name. His trade requests are laughable. He has an irrational love for Nick Punto.
Schmidt: He did forget to play me for like 6 starts in a row.
Weaver: What do you say, Schmidty?
Schmidt: Let's do it. Let's screw this bastard. I've got 24 Bartles and James Pina Colada wine coolers in my trunk, just calling my name. If that doesn't do it, I'll tell Barry Bonds to headbutt me.
Weaver: Oh, hang on, it's call waiting. *beeps over to the other call* Hello?
Ryan Dempster: Hello, fellow baseball player, it's Ryan Dempster!
Weaver: Dempster! You're on Cody Powell's fantasy team too, right?
Dempster: *giggles like he's in a tickle fight* He's the only guy in North America who still plays me!
Weaver: Tonight, Schmidt and I are taking him out. Are you in?
Dempster: I'm several, several steps ahead of you.

And that's all she wrote. (Don't worry, haters of baseball: my fantasy football league is about to begin.)