Aaron Burr was the first American to eat pizza. He hated it so much, he shot the first guy he saw, unfortunately for Alexander Hamilton.
The invention of pizza predates running water, electricity, and curiously, tomato sauce.
Richard Nixon had a pizzeria installed in the White House while President. He tore it out a month later when Kissinger wouldn't stop hogging the jukebox.
Pepperoni only exists in the hearts and minds of the very old.
Pretty much the only reason why the US even acknowledges the Vatican is because it controls the world's mozzarella supply.
In a very strange coincidence, the banjo was invented by a guy named Billy Pizzapants and pizza was invented by a lady named Ethel Banjoface. The two hated each other.
When Chuck E. Cheese first opened, it didn't serve pizza; instead, it dished up potatoes au gratin. This was quickly discontinued when rowdy youths filled the ball pit with cheesy taters.
When Julius Caesar was assassinated, he actually said, "Et tu, pizza?" He was incredibly, incredibly drunk, and thought a pizza was attacking him. (Note: this was also the genesis of the Little Caesar's pizza chain.)
In the Battle of Gettysburg, Union soldiers ran out of cannonballs and took to firing rocks from their cannons. When they ran of rocks, they fired shoes. When they ran out of shoes, they decided to fire pizza crust. Bewildered and terrified, the Confederacy surrendered immediately.
The world's largest pizza could cover the province of Saskatchewan. And it will one day, if I have my say.
Under the rules of maritime law, the only crimes punishable by death are treason, mutiny, and putting pineapple on the Captain's pizza.
Remember that game Hungry, Hungry Hippos? Those hippos aren't actually hungry for the mables in the game, they're hungry for your pizza. And if you don't give it to them right now, they will freaking kill you.
There are only seven different types of pizza crust: pan, thin, that middle kind, whole wheat, sardine, onyx, and fur.
Posted by Cody at September 7, 2006 8:55 PM