September 19, 2006

TV Dilemma

I have a tv dilemma. My dad wants to give me a big tv, and I want to take the big tv. The problem is that he's up around Dallas, I'm in Austin, and the tv can't just teleport into my living room. (If it had teleportation features, he'd probably keep it for himself and make the tv to break into bank vaults.)

Why can't I use my car to load the tv and drive it down here? It's big, as I said, and my car is as large as your typical ant farm. Laura's car is a little bigger, maybe the size of three ant farms, but it's not big enough.

Until December, I owned a truck. It never, ever came in handy for me to own a truck, and I liked to shake my fist at the heavens and scream, "Why do I own this stupid truck?!" I'd try to pick up the truck and throw it at the heavens to make a point, but that was before I started working out and I had a hard time getting it off the ground. I sold the truck for $1200 in December because I finally decided that I just didn't need a truck. Now it's September and I need a truck.

My initial idea was just to rent a U-haul or something. That's before I went onto the U-haul website and learned that if rappers really want to make statement about their extravagant lifestyles, they should start driving big, orange moving vans around. Those things must be like nuclear submarines on the inside! Torpedos and anti-squid equipment are the only possible explanations for how a U-haul can cost that much. And if that's the case, then I'm definitely renting one.

My plan now is to find someone with a truck and coax them into driving a few hundred miles for the sake of my entertainment needs. I'll pay for all kinds of stuff: gas, food, windshield wiper fluid, CB radio rental, you name it. Frito, I'm going to you first, and then I'm working my way down the list. Maybe I only met you once back in 8th grade, but if I got the impression that you were a truck guy, you'll soon be getting a call. Papa needs his tv!

Posted by Cody at September 19, 2006 6:15 PM