Laura and I went to a wedding shower over the weekend and, as a great surprise, it was awesome. I had so much fun, I'm a little worried that the adult world is trying to pull a fast one on me here. Right now, my brain is telling me that wedding showers are great, and that if I see anyone else having one, not only should I attend, but I should be the first person there. However, I know if I actually follow that logic, I'm going to end up in a room with a bunch of 50 year old ladies, listening to them prattle on about how rich the cake is and who's hunkier, Matt Lauer or Anderson Cooper. Yeah, nice try, society!
Another strange thing, perhaps, is that I also like attending weddings. There aren't many social occasions where you can eat, drink, and dance badly as much as you want, without someone else getting the police involved. The only bad thing about them is that one must dress nicely. I just don't get along with food or beverages while I'm clothed. That's not a problem with my normal, crappy wardrobe; I can just Oxyclean the hell out of it. You can't Oxyclean a suit, though (note to self: verify this). No, someone else is needed here.
To solve this, I have come up with a new idea in formal wear that is set to sweep the country: vinyl tuxedos. You get all of the elegance of a tuxedo, along with the rugged, stain-resistant nature of vinyl. Also, when you're wearing a vinyl tuxedo, you can run through an inferno without catching on fire. Well, maybe your hair would ignite, which is why I would also sell vinyl tophats and sombreros. They'd be especially keen for outdoor weddings in winter, where sleet and snow is a real possibility. (Just imagine the aurora borealis twinkling off your shiny vinyl jacket... simply breathtaking. (We have our first ad campaign.))
Posted by Cody at October 16, 2006 8:34 PM