I'm going to transcribe a little conversation for you, from the best of my memory. The following scene played out on Sunday evening.
(Cody and Laura are sitting at the kitchen table.)
Cody: Hey, do you want to play some chess?
Laura: Sure.
(Cody gets the board out, while Laura starts shuffling papers around.)
C: What are those?
L: These are some papers I need to grade for school.
C: You're going to try to grade papers while playing chess?
L: Yeah.
C: You seriously think you can beat me while grading papers?
L: *silence, looks studiously at papers*
C: Oooookay. You better not take it out on your class when I thrash your behind. This defeat could turn kids off of language arts forever.
L: *moves pawn, goes back to grading papers*
C: An elementary opening, and one in which you play directly into my hands. *moves pawn*
L: *looks up briefly, moves again, and goes back to grading*
C: I may as well dip your pieces in tuna and let octopussy move them around the board. *moves*
L: *pauses grading for just a second to move*
C: Not a fawn of the pawns, eh? I'll just take one off of your hands. *moves*
L: *continues to ignore me, moves*
C: *raises eyebrows, shuts up, studies board intently for several minutes, then moves*
L: *yawns, moves piece, continues grading*
C: * snorts derisively, then scratches head, begins to hyperventilate, motions to cat for help, and moves *
L: * sets pen aside for a moment, takes one of Cody's pieces, goes back to more important task *
C: * clears throat, considers swatting board onto the floor and running off into the woods * I didn't see that guy there. I'm kind of tired of this game. * moves *
L: * takes another piece *
C: Why are we playing this? Why must we compete with each other? It's ridiculous! Don't you have to go to the grocery store or something? * moves *
L: * takes another piece *
C: WHAT ARE YOU, A ROBOT? YOU'RE NOT EVEN PAYING ATTENTION! * whimpers, moves *
L: Hey, look at that. Checkmate.
C: AIYEEEEEE! I HATE THIS! I HATE THIS KITCHEN! I TOOK BENADRYL THIS MORNING, I'M TOO SLEEPY TO PLAY! *bangs head on table and screams incoherently*
L: Shut up, I'm trying to grade.
It's always a lesson in humility around here.
Posted by Cody at October 17, 2006 7:29 PM