Puma Talk

Think notable feuds. Think Hitler versus Churchill, MacEnroe versus Borg, Wyle E. Coyote versus the Roadrunner. I have a new one for the list: Powell versus Time Warner Cable.

I have a lot of sympathy for India's untouchable caste, and that's largely because in the cable company's eyes, I'm part of it. I'm down there with the mud people. Not only is the service is crappy, but I think they've taken to the level where the actual employees hate me. I expect to wake up tomorrow morning to find manure all over my yard, and to learn that Time Warner employees, in their free time, spread it out there. Not only that, but they didn't even expense the manure. They chipped in and bought it with their own funds! They did it just to stick it to me. Why? I don't know.

A rational person might suggest, "Hey, why don't you stop paying these people an exorbitant amount of money and find another provider?" That is a valid question, and I can only respond in an analogy. Imagine that everyone you know is raving about this new Greek place, and you hit it up one day at lunch. Midway through your meal, you get up to go to the bathroom. In there, while washing your hands, you're mauled by a puma. Now, once you're healed, aren't you slightly interested in going back to that place and seeing what'll happen? After all, everyone else gets good service; they don't get mauled by the puma. In my case, not only am I still interested, but I go back to the Greek place several times a night. I keep telling myself, "This experience is NOT representative," and I keep getting mauled by the damn puma. In case you wonder why I don't post some nights, visualize the puma.

Okay, I have to make a pecan pie for work tomorrow so I must leave. Avast, mateys.