Congratulations, Democrats: it's now your time to screw up the country. If you're smart, and I mean supercomputer intelligent, the first thing you'll do is send every voter in the USA a pizza. I don't mean some crappy, cardboard-stiff, freezer-burned Tony's, but something good. Give the voter a choice of crust, and perhaps multiple toppings. This will cost billions, but you needn't worry; these babies will pay off during each Democrat's first debate in 2008.
Republican: Ladies and gentlemen, my opponent has done absolutely nothing productive during his time in Congress.Democrat: Oh really? Is that right? I happen to have a picture of you from November 9, 2006. You're answering your front door, and who's that you're talking to? It's the pizza man; someone surprised you with free pizza! Look at the smile on your face.
Democrat, cont'd: Well you know who was in charge of Operation Pizza Party? That's right, this guy right here. I arranged for your pizza and a million others, and you're a damn liar if you can stand here and assert that you didn't enjoy it. That beaming smile was duplicated across every residence in this nation. I organized perhaps the happiest day in United States history, and you have the gall to tell these people that I'm unproductive. Let me tell you something: after I mop the floor with you this November and buy more pizza for everyone in my district, you're not getting anything, not even the left-over crusts! This debate is over!
I do think it's good that the Democrats took control of Congress. Hopefully they will use this opportunity to do something worthwhile, something that might instill a little faith in the political process. Failing that, I really hope they go for the pizza thing.
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