Holiday Loin

Is it any coincidence that yesterday, I posted my entry on my upcoming victory in the World Series of Pop Culture, and today, I cannot access the site for the tv show? Clearly a cabal has formed against me, and even more clearly, this cabal has an in with the people who run VH1's website. You know what I do to cabals? I kebob them. (That's not quite a pun, but no one cares.)

Every year, I mark the arrival of Christmas by the delivery of my Christmas pork. My employer gives all of the employees this pork loin each year towards the beginning of December. I love it because I love pork; a militant kosher person would probably interpret it differently.

In such a situation, I think a kosher person should enter into an agreement with a Hindu person: any pork gifts to the kosher guy is passed along to the Hindu guy, while the Hindu guy would give back to the kosher guy any beef gifts he receives. Is this really so hard to figure out? Observant Jews and Hindus, you need to communicate!

Religion aside, I like the loin idea. Around the holidays, I tend to go a little crazy with the gift shopping. The last thing I need is a gift card, which would force me to spend more time in stores. It's better I get meat. Maybe it'll sedate the holiday rage. At the very least, it'll fatten me up, which means I won't be able to attack the poor sales clerks with my usual agility.