I'm halfway done with my Christmas shopping. It's at this point, when I've exhausted all of my good ideas, that I'm ready to create an altar to George Costanza and the Human Fund.
I actually did come up with one good idea that I could spread around for all of my gifts: a disaster preparation kit. People I don't know very well/don't like very much would get bottled water, some bleach, and diarrhea medicine. Those closest to me get shotguns, gold, and geiger counters. I don't know what folks in the middle would get, maybe a gas mask.
Regardless of what these people receive and where they live, I'll also attach a note that says, "When the crap goes down, meet at my house the next morning at 6 AM. Watch out for marauders!" If we could get the whole group there, we could probably start our own civilization. At the very least, we could have a heck of a party.
Another good idea would be to distribute clues to some sort of enormous scavenger hunt. The problem is, if one person doesn't play along, the entire scheme falls apart. Imagine that everybody has the whole thing figured out except for the last clue, and then my great uncle categorically refuses to tell anyone where the onyx Buddha statue is. (Not sure if the Buddha statue is the prize or the clue in this scenario.) This would definitely happen if my relatives were involved, and maybe that's not such a bad thing. At the very least, people would be so pissed they'd never want to open my gifts again, which pretty much absolves me of any gift giving for the rest of eternity. The scavenger hunt begins!
Posted by Cody at December 19, 2006 8:27 PM