Boy, Saturday night was terrible. We went to Artz Rib House, and I came down with a hellacious case of something. I don't know what the something was, but it's definitely a type of illness. If I have any doctors in the crowd, could they match the following symptoms up to a disease?
1. Throwing up black stuff.
2. Constantly on the verge of soiling one's self.
Yeah, you didn't want to read that, but I really wanted to write that. In fact, I really want to elaborate with thousands of words, so that you, the reader, could grasp the despair of that night. I want to create a PowerPoint where I break each symptom into bullets that woosh on the screen with interesting sound effects. What about Visio? Yes, I could flowcharty it. Fortunately for us all, I will refrain. Just know this: it was bad, I'm better now, and I mostly blame Artz.
The weekend was also bad because I had to do a lot of work for some meetings we're having this week at the office. Working on the weekend is not so bad; it's quiet, I could probably run through the halls in my underwear, and because of those two factors, I get a lot done. The whole time though, I was mentally projecting myself into the meetings.
Imagining myself in a meeting is usually way worse than actually being in the meeting. When I'm in the actual meeting, we have donuts and an agenda, so it's usually not so bad. However, when I start imagining, I see the head honcho saying stuff like, "And now we'll quiz each other on the state capitals of the Northeast, with a salary deducion for each incorrect answer." Everyone in the meeting is really good except for me, and I keep guessing the capital of Maine is Maine City. Eventually, so much is deducted from my salary that I become an indentured servant. My imaginings are exactly like this, just ported a little bit closer to the subject matter of the meeting.
Unfortunately, I have another day's worth of meetings tomorrow. Even more unfortunately, we have yet to discuss even one state capital, meaning there's a lot of subject matter stored up. Fortunately, I have gone 36 hours without symptom #2, so it won't be as humiliating as it could be.
Posted by Cody at December 11, 2006 7:21 PM