Okay, let's talk about night terrors.
Monday night, I had this awful dream where I was being chased by an invisible man who kept lighting matches and throwing them at me. In my dream mind, I decided that the way to scare away the match-thrower would be to start screaming at him; clearly I am as good at conflict in my dreams as I am at real life.
I tried to start screaming at the invisible guy, but nothing came out out. I kept trying and eventually, I began to make a very faint, wavering "Wooooo" noise. I continued to make it, and I got louder and louder. Soon, I was no longer whispering my wavering "Wooooo" noise, but I was in a fully-fledged crazy scream. And at this point, I woke up to discover that I was making this bizarre noise very, very loudly, in real life, thus waking up the whole house in the process.
The best part of this whole thing is the identity of the invisible guy throwing matches at me: Tim Robbins. I guess the lesson here is that if Tim Robbins ever goes invisible on you and chases you around with a book of matches and you decide to scream him away, come up with something good to tell everybody you wake up, because the story itself sounds ridiculous.
Now, what about the Who's the Farthest contest? Well, we technically had two winners: Dave from Spain and Jess from Scotland. Google Maps told me that Madrid was farther from Austin than Aberdeen, but Jess made the astute point that, if I tried to travel to either one of those, Aberdeen would take longer due to the hub system or some such crap. Anyone who tries to weasel into one of my contests deserves to share first on a technicality, so congrats to them both. What do they get? I don't know yet, but I'm going to think it up over the next few days.
In closing, allow me to state my desire that none of the players on my fantasy basketball team participate in the All-Star game. You guys don't need to be doing 360 dunks in some exhibition, then chasing show girls around Big Elvis's house; you should be at home, taking vitamins, swaddling yourself in linement, and figuring out ways to beat the league steroid test. All of you will thank me later, when we take first place in our free league.
Posted by Cody at February 14, 2007 8:39 PM