Tomorrow is my dad's birthday. It's also very close to the birthday of Paul and Boj's dad. So, if you see a middle-aged white guy with a mustache tomorrow, don't be shy about spanking him. Don't introduce yourself or inform him he's about to be spanked; just grab him, hold him down, and spank him ferociously about 50 times. He'll get the idea around swat #10. And I wouldn't worry about any counterstrikes either; his behind will probably be way too sore for him to chase you.
(I can now cross "Incite buttock assaults on countless strangers" off of my To-do list.)
It is been absurdly cold this winter, a trend which continues to this very night. It's supposed to get down to 24 degrees fahrenheit here in Austin, and I have a softball game scheduled for 9:15 PM. In case the opposition is reading this, please don't hit the ball directly at me. If I get hit, I'll probably shatter like Robert Patrick in Terminator 2. Also, do not scream insults at me; my ear wax will be frozen and I'll be temporarily deaf. All other shenanigans are fair game, unless I get eaten by polar bears on the way out to the field.
Posted by Cody at February 15, 2007 7:37 PM