Okay, let's talk fantasy sports. My basketball league is wrapping up in the near future, and I'm sniffing around first place. Essentially, my ending spot depends entirely on Darko Milicic and Andrew Bynum. I must tell you that if you're ever in a battle for first place, the preceding line is the absolute last thing you want to find yourself saying. Mark my words: in one week's time, Darko will be on IR and Bynum will be selling funnel cake out in the stands. As long as they can squeeze a few blocks into those activities, I have no problem.
I'm also in a couple of fantasy baseball leagues this year. One team is a shared undertaking with me and Diddy, meaning that no matter how much I hate it, two spots on the roster are devoted to Freddy Sanchez and Mark DeRosa. (If Paul ever runs for President, I expect those guys to play key roles in his Cabinet.) I should note that the same could be said for me and Nick Punto. Unlike Sanchez and DeRosa though, Punto has a long and distinguished career in diplomacy and monetarism, which is why I have no choice but to place him highly in the Powell Administration.
My solo league is where I'm really excited, though. Here, I might've well as called my team the Colorado Rockies II; I'm lousy with guys from that team. First, I hope someone in that clubhouse is distributing massive amounts of steroids. Second, somebody check their airline pilot for sobriety before all flights. Any kind of team-wide catastrophe would not only rock the sport of baseball, but it'd lead to a supernatural amount of profanity-laden tirades on the league message board. Not even Punto could save me then.
Posted by Cody at March 29, 2007 5:21 PM