Baseball Predictions

Woohoo, baseball season has begun! As part of my duties as world's biggest jackass, I am obligated to give my picks for the division winners.

AL East - Red Sox. It pains me to pick baseball's second leading source of evil, but it must be done.
AL Central - Tigers. They know that this year, if they don't win it all, Jim Leyland's sneaking into their cars and covering their floormats with tobacco spit.
AL West - Rangers. I'm an idiot. However, if Brandon McCarthy pitches well AND Hank Blalock gets his groove back AND Kenny Lofton doesn't have a stroke out in centerfield AND Sammy Sosa shares his primo stash with the rest of the team, we just may have something here.
AL Wild Card - Indians.

NL East - Mets. Consider this pick the lingering effect of my man-crush on Carlos Beltran.
NL Central - Brewers. Rather than give you a real reason, I'll give you a half-remembered quote from Moneyball. "Yes, it was true: Prince Fielder was actually too fat to play for the Oakland A's." Must I even say who my first baseman is on my fantasy team?
NL West - Padres. San Diego has a good pitching staff and some commendable fish tacos.
NL Wild Card - Phillies. Did you know that Ryan Howard's dad is a manager at IBM? Programmers unite!

Now that I look at these picks, I have no idea who'll win the World Series. In fact, I'm going to ride this hunch and predict that there won't be a World Series this year. It'll be cancelled due to...
Player strike? No.
Major international warfare? No.
Terrorist threats? No.
Unicorn attack? Probably. VERY probably.

Baseball is back and I'm feeling the fever. Let's go Rangers.

Posted by Cody at April 2, 2007 8:11 PM