The other day, I began to think about the absolute worst animal that could infest my house. Yes, roaches are bad and rats are worse, but I would gladly take both of those over an infestation of komodo dragons. Reasons:
1. The average specimen is between 6.5 and 10 ft long.
2. They can run up to 12.4 miles per hour.
3. Their mouths are filled with "virulent bacteria".
4. In that Wikipedia link, search for the term "gastric pellet". Holy crap!
5. Dragons shouldn't exist.
One through four are pretty big for me, but four is the clincher. I simply do not want an incarnation of a mythical beast coming at me. Do I run from a freaking dragon, or do I fight it? And how does one fight a dragon? I think I'd need a wand. I must change the subject before I start organizing a neighborhood Komodo watch. If you can think of a worst pest than the dragon, let me know.
Nothing else of interest is going on around these parts. I spent my lunch hour at the bank today, and I actually had a pretty good time. If that doesn't signal the end of my youth, nothing does. Also, I encourage everyone to get the new Voxtrot album (available on Emusic).
I actually feel like I must weigh in on the whole run vs. fight thing with regards to a charging komodo dragon. As I said, these things can run 12+ mph; I can only reach that speed when shot from a cannon. Also, I believe the average adult is around 150 lbs, which is heavy, but not too heavy. My question is: with my adrenaline flowing, would I start a better chance of running 13 mph for a while OR killing a 150 pound lizard in hand to hand/claw combat? If anyone has an answer here, I'd like to hear it.
Posted by Cody at May 22, 2007 9:56 PM