I'm Here To Adjudicate

Wahoo, I have one more day of work and then I'm officially on vacation! A countdown to vacation is highly unscientific to me. To start with, in this count, I only include days I have to work. We leave this Friday morning, and last Friday, I went around and told my coworkers that I had 4 days until departure. I was counting work days, not actual days, and no one realized this. As a result, over and over this week I've been asked "Did you miss your flight?!" Note to coworkers: if I miss my flight, I'm chartering a tugboat; no string of awful coincidences is enough to keep me from Mexico.

The first Monday after I return, I have jury duty. I've never had jury duty, but I've heard a lot about it; I am very excited about the $7 check I can expect for my time. (I knew that if I paid enough taxes, eventually I'd get something to show for it.) I talked to some people in the know, and since I got called for Travis County and not the City of Austin, I can't expect something simple like a traffic ticket. No, we're talking assault and felonies here. (Actual lawyers, please feel free to correct me.) It promises to fascinate and terrify.

I know that everybody tries to get out of jury duty, but I figure that as an American, I should participate at least once. I'll sit there and bitch about it like everybody else, but I'll keep an open mind about the whole thing. So, attorneys and judges and whatnot, when you see me strut into court, lean back in my seat, and cross my arm, don't take it as surliness. All I'm saying is, "Wow me, justice system."

I'll stop here. I'm 8 hours from vacation, counting only work hours and exempting my lunch break. I am excited and provided that the mermaids of the Caribbean don't kidnap me and make me their leader, I shall be back shortly.