I had my first jury duty experience this week, and it was not the laughable farce that Pauly Shore led me to expect. In fact, it was the exact opposite. For this, I blame democracy.
When I got my summons a few weeks back, I noticed two interesting things. First, I saw that my date as a juror was the first work day after my week-long trip to Mexico. Come on, America; some of us have to work. For this, I did not want to go.
Second, I realized that one of my work buddies had jury duty on the same day. He'd already reported his to the higher-ups, and I knew that when I did the same, they'd assume we were both cutting work to engage in kinky gay sex acts. That's the sort of thing that goes down in a personnel file, and it'd only get worse if we were sequestered together for a few days. It was just another reason to dread jury duty.
My expectations were low, and extensive internet research did not raise them. I learned about the process, how long it takes, and the sweet $6 a day I could expect from the government as compensation for my time. I also saw lots and lots of ways to get out of jury duty, but I decided against using these. When I am inevitably brought into court on trumped-up charges of smuggling vegetables into the USA, I want some honest, virtuous jurors, not a bunch of doofuses too dumb to get out of serving on the jury.
The day finally arrived and I drove downtown to engage in some justice. After snagging a sweet parking spot, I went into the courthouse and located my court. I was surprised by how tiny it was. From the dimensions of the room, I did not think the courtroom artist would be able to sketch me appropriately. In fact, the people on Court TV would probably mock her sketches of me, perhaps by calling me a gargoyle. I was ready to blame all of this on shoddy courtroom lighting.
A few more people filtered in, and then an official court representative came to greet us. I prepared to draw numbers and get harrassed by attorneys when she told us that the case had been disposed. We were free to leave.
Whaaaaaaaa? I had two more hours on my parking meter! I would've gladly deliberated on another trial for that amount of time, provided there were snacks.
I was going to volunteer this when the guy next to me sighed loudly and said, "I'm self employed! I can't just drive down to the courthouse every month to get sent back home! I can't afford that!"
My first thought was, "This guy gets summoned every month? Holy crap." My second thought was, "Amen! If we're called down here, we should at least get to participate a little bit." My third thought was, "Shut up and get out of here before she holds us all in contempt." (I'm not sure how contempt works, so I'm wary at all times.)
Anyway, that's what I did. Justice system, I tried to rock you but you shooed me away.
Posted by Cody at June 27, 2007 6:24 PM