I took a little break due to the 4th of July but now I'm back, baby. I'm here just in time to leave for Vegas tomorrow, for what will surely be an outrageous bachelor party. Vegas is one of those towns where it's impossible to have a mediocre time. For me, it's either completely terrible or absolutely wonderful. If you find yourself in that city having a mediocre time, here are a few tips.
1. Drink more.
2. If you don't drink, smoke more.
3. If you don't drink or smoke, take more peyote.
4. Go find the novelty slot machines. These don't pay out well, but it's a lot more fun to lose money to a Rodney Dangerfield slot machine than it is to lose it to a surly Filipino blackjack dealer.
5. Walk the strip and locate the people distributing pornography. See how many obscene pamphlets you can collect in one day.
6. It goes without saying that one must visit Fat Elvis.
7. I hear there are museums and such there. Investigate these and see if they offer free drinks.
8. Go to the Hard Rock casino, rock the pool, and while doing so, point all of your friends and family to the Hard Rock's Pink Taco cam. (Watch for me on Saturday afternoon.)
9. Get drunk, rob Wayne Newton's house.
Am I missing some activities? No, probably not. I should also note that the temperature is slated to hit 116 while I'm there. So, I'll lose all of my money, drink too much, AND get heat stroke... usually all of that takes like two weekends. That's the magic of the bachelor party.
Posted by Cody at July 5, 2007 7:48 PM