I took a little break due to the 4th of July but now I'm back, baby. I'm here just in time to leave for Vegas tomorrow, for what will surely be an outrageous bachelor party. Vegas is one of those towns where it's impossible to have a mediocre time. For me, it's either completely terrible or absolutely wonderful. If you find yourself in that city having a mediocre time, here are a few tips.
1. Drink more.
2. If you don't drink, smoke more.
3. If you don't drink or smoke, take more peyote.
4. Go find the novelty slot machines. These don't pay out well, but it's a lot more fun to lose money to a Rodney Dangerfield slot machine than it is to lose it to a surly Filipino blackjack dealer.
5. Walk the strip and locate the people distributing pornography. See how many obscene pamphlets you can collect in one day.
6. It goes without saying that one must visit Fat Elvis.
7. I hear there are museums and such there. Investigate these and see if they offer free drinks.
8. Go to the Hard Rock casino, rock the pool, and while doing so, point all of your friends and family to the Hard Rock's Pink Taco cam. (Watch for me on Saturday afternoon.)
9. Get drunk, rob Wayne Newton's house.
Am I missing some activities? No, probably not. I should also note that the temperature is slated to hit 116 while I'm there. So, I'll lose all of my money, drink too much, AND get heat stroke... usually all of that takes like two weekends. That's the magic of the bachelor party.
Posted by Cody at July 5, 2007 7:48 PMShould a filipino deal you a bad hand you could always spit in his face and yell "putang ina mo" until security has you taken off the premises, it sure beats listening to Dangerfield's one liners on repeat and his bulbous, illuminated eyes beating down on you with every nickel lost. C'est mon avis.
Posted by: simplyv at July 6, 2007 10:18 AMSpread the word about "Boj It" to as many foreigners as possible. Then, when you get to Scotland, you'll walk into a pub that has a sign on the door that reads: "Thursday is Boj It Night"
Posted by: Pdiddy at July 6, 2007 11:52 AMI'm rolling wiht simplyv here and shouting "putang ina mo" to anyone who wants my money.
Posted by: Cody at July 6, 2007 12:25 PM