Perhaps you've already heard the news. Allow me to state authoritatively that it's no rumor: this evening, I am responsible for managing the company softball team. That's right; it's our last game of the season against our bitter rival, Crapstastic, and I'll be at the helm for the Gas House Gang. This does not bode well for our side.
How have I prepared? Let me list the ways.
1. I came up with a rousing jeer that our team may scream at our opponents. It goes like this, "Craptastic? More like REALLY Craptastic!"
2. Placed a very large bet on our team. Must I explain this? I'm feeling lucky.
3. Penciled myself in as Pitcher, Shortstop, and Centerfield, rotating a position every out.
4. Scouted the other team very thoroughly. What can I tell you about Craptastic? Well, for starters, they all drive cars. I'm not totally sure what I should do with this information.
5. Corked every bat with which I've come in contact. This even includes the little, flying mammals.
The smart money says I will lead us to defeat, and the stupid money says the same thing. Expect a report at some point in the future, unless I botch a squeeze play so badly that my teammates murder me from righteous softball rage.
Posted by Cody at July 12, 2007 6:52 PMI should note that all a manager really does is to create a line-up card (which someone else did for me) and hand a ball to the umpire at the start of the game (I'm in charge, but someone else provided the balls). To victory!
Posted by: Cody at July 12, 2007 6:54 PMMy methods speak for themselves: 27-4 victory.
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