The Clogging Cowboys

Today, I saw some lesbians at Chipotle. That, in itself, is not newsworthy; I see lesbians all the time. I think I actually see more lesbians than heterosexuals (or homosexual men, for that matter). I don't think this is a coincidence, either; I think there's a concerted effort by a major lesbian group to make me more lesbian-friendly. I don't really know if that's necessary because I'm already pretty lesbian-friendly. I know, I'm tooting my own horn. Just to really rub it in, over the past few months, I've ridden in a car with lesbians, eaten dinner with lesbians, and yes, I've even played board games with lesbians. So, lesbians, there's no need to indoctrinate me any further because I'm definitely on your side.

Back to Chipotle.

The interesting thing about these ladies is the fact that they were both wearing Red Sox hats and shirts. Today's the first Red Sox playoff game, so I assumed it was a coordinated act of support for a baseball team. I think it's cool when people really support a team like that.

Then, immediately afterwards, I see another lady in Chipotle also wearing a Red Sox shirt. She sat on the complete other side of the patio, so I know she wasn't in baseball cahoots with the other ladies. I didn't have time to ask her about her sexual orientation, but I'd give it 20% that she was also a lesbian.

In summation, there were three different ladies, all eating burritos, all wearing Red Sox attire, 66.67% of whom were certain lesbians. All of this begs the question: which crowd really loves the Sox, lesbians or women in general? (I hypothesize that Kevin Youkilis plays a large role in all of this.)

I think life would be more exciting if teams weren't based geographically. Instead, each team could appeal to a broad demographic group. We could have the Lesbian Red Sox, the Alcoholic Knicks, the Science Fiction Enthusiast Redskins, etc. Then, whenever I saw someone wearing a Cowboys shirt, I wouldn't say, "Oh, he must be from Texas." Instead, I'd say, "Alas, someone else here shares my love of clogging!"

Posted by Cody at October 3, 2007 7:47 PM