The Mississippi Miracle

It's not often that a subject of my expertise becomes a major news story. This is because the mainstream media is usually more interested in celebrity weddings and reality tv shows than in Wii Bowling and Newsradio episodes. Every once in a while, though, life tosses me a bone. This was the case on Saturday when the Trinity football team pulled off a completely wacky play that's since been on every sports show, website, and hologram service since.

In case you have no idea what I'm talking about, check this out. My favorite part of the video is #50 on Millsaps. With about a minute left in the video, he appears to die on the 35 yard line in the bottom left of the screen.

After watching this thing about a few dozen times, I declare the entire thing is completely awesome. When I'm invited back as a celebrity alumnus, you better believe I'm calling that play quite frequently. There's no point in saving that for the end of the game when you can run it every other play.

Secondly, I can say that the clip you just saw has no actual relationship to a normal division III football game. DIII games are a lot like junior high football games in that the guys aren't incredibly big, fast, or good. Actually, junior high games may be slightly better in that division III teams don't have bands or snack bars in the stadium. Also, in junior high, your team actually plays the other teams in your city, whereas in DIII, your team plays a lot of militant Lutherans from the Pacific Northwest who hold hands in the stands and sing hymns during half time (true story). I say all of this coming from a division III powerhouse.

While in a few ways the games are kind of lame, they're also a lot of fun. You know how when you're watching a pro game and somebody misses a tackle, and you think, "Man, I could've taken that dude down"? Well, in a division III game, you probably actually could take that dude down. Maybe not consistently, but for one play, oh yeah, you could drill him good. Another excellent aspect is the fact that none of the players are drugged up, sexually aggressive lunatics. Drugged up, sexually aggressive lunatics have no interest in playing in front of 400 people, nor in the liberal arts and sciences in general. It's fun to root for good guys who go to class and probably won't shiv you in the pizza line.

It's not often that Trinity athletics finds its way into the public eye, and I'm happy that it's for something totally bad-ass like this play. The football players I know were all great guys and clearly, they're not afraid to bring the funky stuff onto the field. Division III, beware! We'll keep trying that play until it fails.

Posted by Cody at October 30, 2007 6:58 PM