Yo Soy Fancy Boy

I don't know if this is a cultural shift or this is only happening to me, but I am definitely becoming more of a pansy. Consider the following.

1. I no longer use bar soap in the shower. Instead, I use body wash. I didn't start doing this intentionally; I just couldn't find the Irish Spring at HEB one day. Instead, I settled for some body wash and man, there's no going back. The first shower with body wash will go down as a hallowed day in my personal hygiene chronicles. Why? As an objective third party, I declare that I now smell PHENOMENAL!

Also, with bar soap, there's a real lack of lather, while with body wash, it's latherpalooza with me playing the main stage. It's easier to make soap beards with a lot of lather.

2. I'm getting kinda weird about moisturizer. Immediately after a shower (featuring the aforementioned bodywash), my face need to be moisturized. If it doesn't get moisturized, I feel my skin start to shatter, wrinkle, and ooze plasma. At my very worst, I've been known to pack some travel moisturizer when I'm going out of town.

Combine one and two, and you've got one moist, sweet-smelling fella. As long as I'm not in prison, I'll take those qualities. Fortunately, I still have a few habits that prevent certain dandification.

1. I wear stained clothes nearly every day. Everybody says to use Oxiclean, but that crap can't handle the other, separate crap I spill on my clothes in the course of eating, drinking, and kung fuing.

2. I only use generic shampoo. I'm no sucker.

3. I only shave with razors I get from the dollar store. Again, I'm no sucker.

4. Any loofah sponge I find around Powell Manor gets ground up and fed to the hogs.

Posted by Cody at October 9, 2007 8:12 PM