Mario Party

I don't want to alarm everybody here, but Super Mario Bros 3 just came out for the Wii. You know, the one where you turn Mario into the flying raccoon? It's also famous as the game unveiled in the climax of a certain Fred Savage tour de force, The Wizard. It's pretty much the only video game that features both flying Italian racoon-men and Fred Savage's mark of approval, so I encourage everyone to spend $5 and get it for the Wii virtual console.

I already did, and let me tell you something: it's hard. Nintendo games were meant to be played on a 10" tv, not a monstrosity like I own; Mario really excels in cramped corners. On my tv, I'm sliding all over the screen into certain death. The game itself is still awesome however, and Laura remembers the location of all of the secret levels. You may all enjoy your Guitar Hero III; we're getting our Mario on.

I think that, in general, Nintendo games were very difficult. I've got a whole lot of these games for the Wii and none of them are as easy as I remembered. For example, when I was a spry youth and the moon was full, I could get to Mike Tyson in Mike Tyson's Punch Out. Yes, I did beat him a few times.

I got that game again about 3 months ago and not only do I not get to Mike Tyson, but the large Turkish gentleman consistently pounds my face in. I believe his name is Bald Bull, but it might as well be Game Over, Bitch because I'll never get past him for as long as I live. I try not to let this bother me, since Bald Bull is approximately 140 times larger than Little Mac. Hey Nintendo, exactly what weight class are these two competing in?

Back to hitting bricks with my head, collecting gold coins, and shooting fireballs at turtles.

Posted by Cody at November 6, 2007 9:03 PM