I heard something very strange from my dentist this week. Midway through a filling, she said, "If we see the pulpy dragon, I'm out of here." She's a very straight-laced lady, so I knew it wasn't an acid flashback. I figured it was probably some sort of dental code she wanted me to crack. I tried to say, "Pulpy dragon?" She had two hands and a drill in my mouth though, so it came out, "WUUUUUUUHHWUUUUUHHHHH WUUUUUHWAAAAAAAAAHHHHH?"
Then she explained that the pulpy dragon referred to the nerve in my tooth, and that if she hit it, I would definitely know. She kind of cackled when she said, too. I imagined her hitting the nerve, me wetting myself, and then swallowing the drill accidentally, forcing myself to undergo another procedure entirely. I did not want her to mess with the pulpy dragon.
It was a really awkward spot for a filling so it took her about 45 minutes to finish. All of this time, I kept thinking about the nerve thing. It's one thing to know that I could experience intense pain at any moment; it's another thing entirely to know that my mouth is full of pulpy dragons. That's just... really weird imagery. It is, without question, the strangest adjective + noun pairing I've ever heard. Try to picture this mythical beast. Once you do, think of that in each of your teeth. Each of your pulpy, pulpy, dragonous teeth.
She never did hit the nerve, but ever since she used the term, I've almost been afraid to chew anything. I feel like I need to puree my food in advance, to protect my vulernable, pulpy parts. I am this close to getting dentures just so I never have to think of this ever again.
I don't know if guys are aware of this, but apparently the Colts are playing the Patriots this weekend. I know; it came as a shock to me, too. Is anyone actually rooting for the Patriots in this? At some point, don't the people of Boston have to take a look at their guys and say, "Yeah, they're kind of a bunch of asses"? The rest of America's already done it, dudes. If there was ever a duo who need their precious pulpy dragons messed up, it's Belichik and Brady.
Posted by Cody at November 1, 2007 7:49 PM