I start my new job on Monday, and I spend that first week in Boston up in the corporate headquarters. I think I've mentioned this already. What I may not have mentioned is the fact that Boston is also known as the North Pole, and is renowned for its frigid, icy temperatures and seal-friendly landscapes.
Being from Texas, I don't have a lot of cold weather skills. I don't know much about scraping ice off of a windshield, I'm not sure which way to breathe to keep my lungs from turning into ice, and I wouldn't know how to drive off the Abominable Snowman using only a harpoon. It goes without saying that, like everyone else in Central Texas, I have no damn idea how to drive in ice or snow. Much like waltzing, I do it maybe once a year and it ain't pretty.
How does paragraph 1 relate to paragraph 2? When I get to Boston, I have a 30 minute drive to the airport. I just checked the weather forecast for Sunday evening, when I arrive and make the drive; the low for that time period is 6 degrees and I'm just going to assume that includes icy crap.
I always like to start off my first day of work with something impressive. Tell me, friends: what is a more impressive start to a new job than totaling your company-provided rental car before you've even started the job?
In the interest of keeping me off of the streets and out of your garbage can, here's a plan. If you live in Massachusetts, stay off the streets on Sunday night. I'm not going to give you a time period for that, because it honestly could take me hours to get 15 miles from the airport to the hotel.
Stock up on your canned goods and bottled water. If your wife may give birth that night, just go ahead and induce labor now. And if you do find yourself on the road then and you see a car going 2 MPH towards Needham, please give me a little push.
Posted by Cody at February 5, 2008 7:34 PM