Michael Phelps, it appears that you will stop at nothing when it comes to showing me up in front of the entire world. I get it; you're better at swimming than I am. I strongly suspect that I'm a better speller than you, but you're not going to see me going to Beijing and organizing a bunch of phoney spelling bees. (Loan me the gold medals for a weekend and I will drop these complaints.)
Asafa Powell, it's been a while, friend. Remember how, a few years back, I wrote that entry about my favorite Jamaican track and field athlete, ie you, and I started getting all of this email from people who thought I knew you? You and I share last names, I write about you on the internet, and I loudly claim to be your bodyguard/chef/masseuse on several message boards, and then people start coming up with these strange ideas!
Asafa, I saw the article on you in Sports Illustrated. Apparently you, like all Powells, have prodigious physical talents but are slightly cuckoo in the head. Dude, I completely sympathize; ever heard of a little something called the Powell curse? Nevertheless, at some point in the history of the universe, a Powell is going to win a medal for something. I don't see why it can't be you.
Chinese gymnast girls, you ladies are seriously old enough to compete in the Olympics? I'd send you to bed without your Hannah Montana fix for this little stunt.
Posted by Cody at August 14, 2008 9:35 PM