Honeymoonin'

Let's get it out of the way: I had my bachelor party over the weekend. I'm not telling any stories and I'm damn sure not sharing any pictures. All you, the crazy people of the Internet, need to know is that no one went to jail, no one married a stripper, and no one got deported. Yet. These things take time, so I make no promises.

Thinking back on it now, I can't help but be impressed with how much stuff we accomplished in a single day. I bet if we had devoted that energy to something slightly less debauched like feeding starving Africans, we'd have to send an enormous shipment of XL sweatpants to Ghana this morning.

In other wedding news, I'm going on a honeymoon and it ain't to Waco. Here's the funny thing about trying to go on a trip to a tropical destination in late December: no matter where you try to go, it's ungodly expensive. Whether it's Mexico, Hawaii, or Tahiti, it's all around the same price and would practically involve us having to melt down and pawn the fillings in our teeth to really whoop it up over there.

I think that both Laura and I had a collective flipout while checking packages yesterday and said, "Hot damn, if that's much to fly 3 hours away, it'd probably cost a metric crapton of money to go to Europe." Then we checked. Funny enough, it's not so bad since it's cold there at the time. After a bit of comparison, we concluded that we actually could go to Paris for the same length of time, swank the hell out of the whole trip, and come out of it cheaper than our originally planned trip to Costa Rica. So, that's what we're doing.

Prepare yourself, people of Europe. I am coming for your chocolate, your castles, and your fancy beer. I expect English everywhere, incredible hospitality, and hamburgers on every corner.