Winter Sleeves

You know why everyone hates winter? It's because I get sick and I can't wear shorts. If there's one thing that brightens humanity for everyone, it's me, in short pants, at peak health.

I bring this up because both of these storms are striking at once this week; I think I'm getting the flu, and it's just cold enough outside that I'm trapped in this limbo between short sleeves and long sleeves.

There's clearly no solution to the whole flu thing, aside to cross my fingers and pray that it's a violent new strain of Platypus Flu. On the short sleeves/long sleeves issue, some creativity can be applied. What I propose is simple: shirt sleeves made out of wrapping paper. When it's too warm for long sleeves, you cut off your paper sleeves and then when you get chilly, you pull the paper down from the wrapping paper roll, thus covering your arms in a festive and delightful manner.

Aside from these subjects, the other topic that's been chewing on my mind is our finances. Between buying a house, getting married, and going on a honeymoon, it's been a rough year for the Bank of Powell. I can only assume that the global economy noticed this great outpouring of money and decided to crater out of sympathy. I can only guess that the people at the World Bank and the Federal Reserve got together and concluded that if my net worth was going to drop precipitously, so would everyone else's. I'm touched by the gesture, but it seems a bit excessive.

The good news here is that the expenses are over. From now on, if I'm spending lavishly, it's on libel lawsuits and libel lawsuits only.