Eric and Kristin just had a baby! Woooooohooooo! Knowing both parents well, I predict the following.
I predict Elizabeth will be a pretty child. She will be pretty, but not TOO pretty in that way that causes other women not to like her.
I predict Elizabeth will be intelligent. She will be so smart, she'll preschool at NASA. This will work well for a while, until the other baby rocket scientist shuns her for her unorthodox views on the Hubble Constant.
I predict Elizabeth will be strong, at least by baby standards.
I predict Elizabeth will be a craps prodigy, to the point where Eric will take the baby monitor to the casino not to check in on his baby, but to relay the latest bets and rolls to his daughter.
It's all very exciting news and I hope to meet this little lady soon. (Hopefully her parents will be around at this meeting, or else I'm not going to know who this little girl is or what to do with her.)
In other news, all is right in the world of Powelldonia. I'm working on a new website (don't count on anything new for a while), I'm spending a lot of time at work, and I'm getting my stomach loosened up for Thanksgiving. On to winter!
You know why everyone hates winter? It's because I get sick and I can't wear shorts. If there's one thing that brightens humanity for everyone, it's me, in short pants, at peak health.
I bring this up because both of these storms are striking at once this week; I think I'm getting the flu, and it's just cold enough outside that I'm trapped in this limbo between short sleeves and long sleeves.
There's clearly no solution to the whole flu thing, aside to cross my fingers and pray that it's a violent new strain of Platypus Flu. On the short sleeves/long sleeves issue, some creativity can be applied. What I propose is simple: shirt sleeves made out of wrapping paper. When it's too warm for long sleeves, you cut off your paper sleeves and then when you get chilly, you pull the paper down from the wrapping paper roll, thus covering your arms in a festive and delightful manner.
Aside from these subjects, the other topic that's been chewing on my mind is our finances. Between buying a house, getting married, and going on a honeymoon, it's been a rough year for the Bank of Powell. I can only assume that the global economy noticed this great outpouring of money and decided to crater out of sympathy. I can only guess that the people at the World Bank and the Federal Reserve got together and concluded that if my net worth was going to drop precipitously, so would everyone else's. I'm touched by the gesture, but it seems a bit excessive.
The good news here is that the expenses are over. From now on, if I'm spending lavishly, it's on libel lawsuits and libel lawsuits only.
The papers are right, folks: I'm married. I don't know what makes me happiest about our wedding: 1) that there were no major or even semi-major incidents, 2) that no one objected to the marriage, 3) that my mother-in-law received a 1 AM call asking her to please come pick up the wedding attendee who had passed out under a tree at the vineyard, or 4) that a vineyard employee complained to my mother-in-law about all of the whiskey bottles left at the very same vineyard. When a wedding has been built up like this one had, it's bound to get a little wild.
It was a great wedding, and exactly what Laura and I wanted. Rev. Boj did a phenomenal job with his officiating; everyone who had to give a speech successfully avoided the f-bomb and did a great job in being humorous and un-terrifying. The food wasn't poisoned, I'm still eating and loving the cake 5 days later, and most importantly, the bartenders didn't cut me off at my own wedding (not that I was planning on hitting it that hard, but that specific act just seemed like the absolute wrong way to enter into a union).
How are the first 4 days of marriage? Well, they're a lot like the past few years of living together, with the exception that I get to wear a ring and complain about the ol' ball and chain.
With this plus Obama's victory, I feel like there are some real reasons for hope in life. I'm sure it's the exact opposite for all of the Republican, Libertarian, and Green Party women who lusted after me.
If I can get married to a respectable woman, then the United States can elect a black president. I took care of the first part over the weekend, let's see what happens tonight.
Expect an exhaustive rundown tomorrow on this weekend's events, as soon as I can rest up a little bit.